Real Men Don’t Scream at the Fire Hydrants

Real men are the epitome of the human race

Real men don’t get intoxicated
Especially not on light beer
Real men get Drunk

 Real men don’t sing karaoke
They invented it

Real men don’t stop drinking at last call
They find another, manlier bar that’s still open

Real men don’t stumble drunkenly
They walk with purpose, even if that purpose makes them a little disoriented right now

Real men don’t scream at the fire hydrants
Because that’s how they got arrested for public disturbances.

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