The Supervillain Guidelines
In my quest for
World Universal Domination, I have learned from the mistakes of other evil overlords and have compiled a list of guidelines that will ensure my success as a Supervillain.
- I will not be seduced by the Heroine with the Rockin’ bod. (however I may be seduced by the Hero with the Epic Beard), No one is perfect.
- I will allow my henchpeople to unionize and treat them fairly so that they are less likely to betray me, after all a stable workforce is a helpful workforce.
2.a) This means I will not send my henchpeople to their certain doom without the proper benefits packages.
- I will ensure that any and all gloating monologues are said only after my Dastardly Plan has been completely and irreversibly implemented.
- My Dastardly Plan will feature no overly dramatic Rube Goldberg-esque start up sequences that can be easily stopped with the slightest interference, after all efficiency is its own reward.
- My Doomsday device will not be revealed until after the apocalypse. If no one knows of its existence, it cannot be stopped.
- I will ensure the general public understands that I shall be a benevolent overlord, I only have their best interests at heart. This will help prevent any uprisings and/or rebellions.
- Any prophesy, vision, tapestry of fate, or precog, predicting my downfall shall be sealed away, hidden from the general public, and appropriately prepared for.
- I shall not let the infinite power I wield go to my head. Or my Ego.
- I shall remember my humble beginnings and look back on these guidelines often.
- Above all else, any and all plans shall be reviewed by a team of small children. Any flaws that these children discover shall be rewarded with espresso shots and puppies. After the flaws are fixed I shall have the perfect plans.